Has your world been turned upside down by infidelity?

These are common responses to the betrayal of infidelity.

Putting the pieces back together may feel impossible but believe it or not more couples survive infidelity than end their relationship.

If you can, give yourself some time to recover before making any decisions about the relationship.

For the Betrayed Partner …..

You have been traumatized. You may feel numb and in a trance at first, hardly able to believe what you have found out. Feelings of anger, hurt and shame come and go in waves. Pictures of your partner with someone else keep coming into your mind. You keep obsessing over what happened and looking for signs of more betrayal. You look at your partner as a stranger and wonder if everything they have ever told you is a lie. You may feel you are betraying yourself to stay in the relationship.

For The Involved Partner …..

You feel so ashamed and afraid. If you know you want to work on your relationship you may be afraid that your partner is going to walk out, and you want to say and do anything to fix things. Whether it has been a long affair or a short involvement you didn't start out intending to betray your partner, and don't understand how you could have got into such a mess. You have no support from anywhere for the losses you feel and feel so alone in it all. Part of you may feel glad that it is out in the open as you can stop living two lives but you wonder if there is any light at the end of the tunnel.

For The Affair Partner …..

You feel devastated. You may have been waiting for the situation to come to light believing that then your lover will make the decision to be with you. Only to find, either more confusion and indecision or you are the one who has been shut out. You may have believed that your lovers marriage was unhappy and that your connection was special. But instead you are left with false hopes and broken promises.

Whatever Position you are in Counselling Can Help you to Put the Pieces Back Together

The shame of infidelity can make the thought of reaching out and seeking counselling the last thing you want to do. It takes courage for everyone involved to face what has happened, but when you do you are beginning to put the pieces back together. Making that call to start counselling is a statement that you want to take charge of your life.

Counselling for individuals:

• You may not be ready to deal with things as a couple and need time to sort through how you are feeling. Counselling can help to gain some clarity about how you want to proceed.

• If you are unsure about being in the relationship counselling can give you a place to explore that question.

• If you are wanting to separate counselling can support you through the effects of betrayal no matter what position you have been in.

• For individuals who repeatedly become involved in affairs and want to change their behavior.

  
  Counselling for couples:

• Regaining the trust and intimacy in a relationship takes time. On average it takes from 6 months to a year to recover from the effects of infidelity. Counselling is a safe place to learn ways to reconnect and develop trust again.