Approach to Couples Therapy
Relationships are central to our lives and I have been working with couples for the past 20 years. I have studied a number of approaches and the one that fits for me and I have found the most effective is Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Changing dynamics in relationships takes determination and willingness to look inwards. RLT helps couples to take an honest look at their behaviour with support and clarity. I have been doing in-depth study and training in this approach for the past 5 years. I am direct and engaged with couples while creating a relationship with each of you. There may be times that I will focus on helping one partner, in particular, to work on their behaviour so we can really understand the impact that has on the relationship. At any given time one partner is often causing more disruption to the relationship and with careful and detailed assessment we can identify who to start the work with. This does not mean one partner is to 'blame' for the difficulties or that only one person needs to do the work, it is simply about where to start.
Another aspect of RLT that I like, is the acknowledgment of patriarchy that affects relationships between men and women and teaches men to be invulnerable. Men are often at a loss to know how to be intimate and relational. Relationships today are still affected deeply by the imbalance of power that runs through our society on many levels. We will focus on family of origin work to address the relational wounds and how these gender roles and conditioning have been passed on.
We will also focus on developing skills that are missing to develop a loving and intimate relationship.
Change is hard and our most intimate relationships are often the catalyst for us to become the best we can be. I am committed to helping you reach those goals and create a loving, respectful and vibrant relationship. Where your relationship is a sanctuary from life's stresses.
Couples I have worked with have struggled with the following:
- Constant arguing and bickering.
- Sensitivity to emotional expression of their partner.
- Withdrawal and lack of participation.
- Defensive responses.
- Lack of respect for their partners experience.
- Feeling responsible for their partner or dependent on their partner for their well being.
- Ambivalent about being in the relationship or out of the relationship.
- Criticism and complaining.
- Lack of affection and intimacy.
- Difficulty with differences and limitations.
- Boundaries - loosing sense of self or hiding behind a protective wall.
- Difficulties with expressing desires to their partner.
- Distance, lack of affection, feeling disconnected.
- Not making time for each other.
- Torn between in-laws and partner.
- Blended Families
- Cross Cultural
Delyse is accepting new clients in the North Delta location. You can book an appointment, in-person or video chat, using the online booking system.