Sunday, 18th of April 2010 at 10:16:53 PMSensitivities in relationships
The pain of not being heard, or betrayed, lied to or criticized are examples of experiences from our past that become sensitivities we bring into our present relationships. We become vigilant to these behaviors in others, and it takes only a hint of the original betrayal to cause a reaction. Sensitivities are the fragile areas of our psyche that are like open wounds. Any slight touch stings with pain and intolerance. The emotional reactions that erupt out of this pain take on proportions that far out weighs a common response. We justify our response with an internal logic which supports the perspective that our partner has purposefully hurt us. As a partner who encounters these wounds you are left confused by the distortion of your experience, which can lead to defensiveness. Sensitivities tend to create more of what we don’t want because others will perceive our response as unreasonable. It is unreasonable because the recipient of such emotional outpouring is held responsible for more than their behavior. People don’t respond well to this. Thus, their defensiveness denies the pain of the person with the sensitivity.
