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Sensitivities in relationships
Sensitivities in relationships The pain of not being heard, or betrayed, lied to or criticized are examples of experiences from our past that become sensitivities we bring into our present relationships. We become vigilant to these behaviors in others, and it takes only a hint of the original betrayal to cause a reaction. Sensitivities are the [...] The effect of rescuing in relationships
The effect of rescuing in relationships In coming across the above quote recently I was reminded of the pain caused by being caught up in this [...] Emotional intimacy
Emotional Intimacy Intimacy speaks to something shared between individuals who trust and respect each other. A connection that is transparent and honest, that takes courage. Feeling close to someone can be manufactured out of illusion and characterized by a disquiet that leaves one feeling unsure of the closeness. Sharing similarities can be part of developing closeness [...] Differentiation
DIFFERENTIATION The concept of differentiation is central to the work I do with couples. I am going to give you a couple of definitions and identify the skills we need for differentiation, and some of the ways couples avoid doing this work in their relationships. Differentiation is the active, ongoing process of defining self, revealing self, clarifying [...] Ways partners remain undifferentiated
Ways partners remain undifferentiated Fusion is defined as the desire for two people to merge into one another in personal relationships, and refers to an immature connection to the other fueled by a fear of separation. The desire for this type of connection is motivated in part by an unconscious fantasy of bliss through unity. Eric [...] Barriers to intimacy
Barriers To Intimacy Lack of Self-Knowledge The deeper we know our self the more fully we can be present with others and consciously share our experience. The less you know the more difficult it becomes to communicate your feelings and desires effectively to your partner. Deep intimacy requires both partners to communicate in an open and honest [...] Stages and challenges in relationships
Stages and Challenges in Relationships There is evidence that relationships follow a developmental path. Understanding this will help in understanding challenges in relationships. Some people negotiate these stages relatively easily but the growing pains of any relationship can bring up traumatic issues for individuals. Our early childhood influences our ability to negotiate the changes because [...] Neither in nor Out
This article discusses the nature of ambivalence in relationships, and the resulting dynamics. Ambivalence occurs in intimate relationships when there is the coexistence of opposing emotions and desires towards the other that create an uncertainty about being in the relationship. It is our nature to split our experience into polarities, such as good/bad, right/wrong and [...] Intrusion or Neglect?
I have been thinking about the continuum between neglect and intrusion. These aspects are present in every relationship to some degree most of the time. As we set a boundary with our partner they may crash into it! Some of us are more sensitive to intrusion while others are sensitive to neglect. Neither are pleasant! [...] How are you Attached?
Last night I was having a discussion with my husband about some of our experiences growing up and how that shows up in our relationship. I was reading about what in the field is called ‘attachment styles’ and the different styles we have learned – it became really apparent where my husband and I can [...] |
Delyse Ledgard Registered Clinical Counsellor |
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Sunday, 18th of April 2010 at 10:16:53 PM